It sits on my dresser and I've looked at it daily for the past 15 months. And I'm still working on taking that message to heart. I'm maybe 85-90% there. I have no idea why I bought it when I did. I have no idea what's wrong with me. I have no idea why I'm still in pain. I have no idea why I can't run. But I do know that I'm no longer a runner. Funny how 10 years ago I couldn't have cared less about that. I'm trying not to care that much right now. I'm almost there.Some of my current obsessions include:
my Vibram FiveFingers and barefooting
yoga
Monopoly...the little guy and I play a lot
water aerobics...every Monday, Wednesday, Friday
Circular Strength Training....swinging a clubbell is pure fun
And these guys, of course...many more adventures to come!
Circular Strength Training....swinging a clubbell is pure fun
And these guys, of course...many more adventures to come!
6 comments:
I love that art piece! This post is so poignant. I think you are so amazing--trying to move on. It's not just the not running, but the idea that you have to let go of your identity as a runner. I can't fathom trying to do that myself. It hurts just thinking about it. And truthfully, I'm not sure it's something you should force yourself to do (although only you know what's best for you). Running has still been a big part of your life and who you are. Even if that part all remains in the past, it's still part of how you identify yourself, and maybe you don't have to let go of that.
Anyway, for new obsessions, I suggest learning a musical instrument. Especially if you have never done such a thing before!
Good luck!
Great to hear from you Sarah...I've been wondering how you were, both the physical pain as well as the psyche. Thanks for your honesty and clarity.
All those other things are good... you can embrace all of them!!
It's hard. There is no question about it. I might still be out there, but for me I am pretty close to be "dead ultrarunner" myself. You make peace, make sense, make explanation, go in a little of denial, get angry, find other things, get happy, repeat...it's a long process. Talking it out helps. I don't know how you feel - those are your feelings. I can just suggest doing whatever feels right for you to work through them. Big breath...
Oh, I like the last obsession best! Those guys are what makes the world go round.
The five-fingers looks interesting, I might have to check those out.
It's a great post Sarah, thoughtful and insightful. You'll get there...
Running is important to me because of the people it has brought into my life. You and your family for instance.
While I respect the incredible running talent of the front runners it really does not matter to me where a person finishes in an event. More important is that they showed up and participated. That includes the wonderful efforts you have put forth as a volunteer on the courses since your weird and wacky injury.
Helen Keller said that when one door closes we spend so much time looking back at the closed door that we don’t look forward to see the new doors opening. To me Angie’s art signifies fall when the trees let go of their leaves. It’s spring now and things are starting to bloom! Bloom my friend!
Nice post Sarah!
You like those Vibram FiveFingers? I need a pair of those too.
I know my day will come when I can no longer run, be it from age or injury. I will be sad but like you I will find something else that is just as great to do. I didn't run unless forced to my first 32 years of my life. And I got along pretty good without it. You are doing great and sound like you have lots of healthy hobbies to keep you active.
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