Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Patience is my mantra

I haven't written that much lately about what's been going on with me. I've been disappointed in the physiatrist I had originally seen. Sure, she ordered plenty of tests. But I was feeling left to float in the wind, and there was a serious lack of communication and follow-up. It seemed like I was being sent off in multiple directions (figuratively and literally) and was left to manage my own care.

But today I got to see the sport medicine doctor. He reviewed all my tests (x-ray, bone scan, CT scan, MRI of lumber spine and MRI of hip/pelvis), did an exam, and listened to my story and all my concerns. I really appreciated the time he spent with me. The good news is, there's nothing he can see that would require surgery or other major intervention. The bad news is, there's nothing he can see that would require surgery or other major intervention. Seriously, I'm very thankful that my tests are pretty normal and he's pretty certain I don't have something like a hip labral tear. (The spinal cysts have likely been there for awhile and probably not symptomatic.) But it would be so nice if he could say, you have X and it can be fixed by Y.

So basically, my condition is still pretty nebulous. But likely I have a soft tissue, ligament or tendon injury that could take a long time to heal. The pelvis is a complex mechanism and its difficult to give it rest. We're constantly contracting those muscles. I think I've finally discovered what I can and cannot do. And I have a clear idea of the progression I need to take as I start to feel better. And I have felt better. I just need to keep wrapping my mind around what it means to overdo so I don't have any more setbacks.

So my mantra is patience. 2007 was a golden year for me. And 2008 was looking to be even better. But it is certain now I won't run even a marathon in 2008. I believe that makes it the first year since 2001 I won't have run a marathon. I actually don't even expect to run a step this year. My dream would be to run a mile this year. I can't make it a goal because I need to focus each day on what is and not try to push too much into what I want it to be. But I'll still keep my sights on that day when I'll savor every step!

Marc has a number of races still coming up this summer, hopefully culminating in a finish at Cascade Crest 100. I'll be there cheering him on and hopefully seeing some of you there too!


Jamie said...

One can seriously undergo the five stages of grief when dealing with stuff like this. Glad you got a better doctor, even if the news wasn't necessarily all good with a definitive conclusion. Hang in there, Sarah.

Backofpack said...

I feel so bad for you! I have been in your position, not with injury, but with illness. I understand that frustration with the doctors who can't help, and how wonderful it is to find someone who will listen, even if they can't help either. I was able to run, but only five miles max, and those were so hard. All I can say is hang in there. You will get better and you will figure it out.

I watched Eric run a lot of marathons (two Bostons during that time) and became the best cow-bell ringer and supporter in the state. It became the fuel for all my daydreams and gave me the oompf to do what I'm doing now.

I can't wait to see your comeback, because I know you'll be fast and spectacular! And in the meantime, Marc can preview all the courses for you!

Carrie said...

Wow Sarah. The good news is that you know what you have to do. The bad news is that it's going to take a while. Even though you don't have a goal, you DO have a long term goal, and that's to run again. So just hang in there and you will reach that goal (slowly :-)).

rick said...

Wishing nothing but good things for you and this ongoing injury. I also think it's great that the whole family is still involved in the running scene with you and the little guy volunteering or spectating at Marc's races. I'm excited for Marc as well, Cascade is a challenging, beautiful course. i hope to come back, maybe even in 2009.

robtherunner said...

Hang in there, Sarah! We'll see you at CC100 for sure.

Joe said...

Oh Sarah, this is tough! I think your analysis remains solid...and coming to grips with being on the sidelines for an extended period of time is probably 90% of the battle towards full healing.

Do keep posting...I appreciate your insight. You have much to teach us all as you learn and observe and mull. Please share your will help all of us. You are a great writer and I appreciate your insight!!

Journey to a Centum said...

So you get the 2008 whacky injury that takes forever to heal award! We can't live in fear of such injuries but it's certainly a risk we all take considering the miles we put in.

Reading your frustrations makes me appreciate my good health. I've been fortunate to have only missed about 6 weeks to injury over the past 12 years.

Marc is going to do great at CCC. He's not a sissy or a pussy runner. He's got grit and determination and that's what it takes to make the finish line. He's also got a fantastic crew chief that will keep him fueled and motivated (I'm guessing you will be his crew chief).

Enjoy your break from running and heal up. You have many years of great running ahead of you.

Bob Gentile said...

Sarah Said:But I was feeling left to float in the wind, and there was a serious lack of communication and follow-up.
friggin service in the good Ole' USA (sigh))) don't get me started on how SOOOOO many people just seeem like they don't give a crapOla...I mean STEP UP People and FOLLOW UP, Do what you Said ur we are going to DO...(Deep Breath, breath Bobby)))) Sorry Sarah , it's bad enough ur trying to figure out what the heck is going on but then to wait on incompetence gets more frustrating huh...Glad u found someone else to work with to a degree...

Part of me just wants to tell you to just RUN Sarah RUN, RUN that friggin PAIN out of your System but ummm not sure if that is a good idea huh :-)

OK then patience is the other option which ummm I have NO experience in that area--LOL

Best Wishes Hun, Please KEEP those GOOD Vibes UP...You will be back at it and I will be out on the West Coast to RUN a trail With ya...and we WILL LAUGH our ASSES Off :-)

Bret said...

Good news they found nothing real bad but frustrating they didn't for sure. I totally understand. We all miss you out on the trails for sure. Rick had a bit of a set back so he probably wont be doing any long races in the near term either
Tell Marc if he wants a running partner in the Gorge someday to let me glad to run with him.

wendy said...

Oh, honey! You put on a brave face for us. =) I'm glad you still share, although, I'm sure it's uncomfortable.

Listen to Michelle. I started running with her when she trained for her first marathon. You would have never guessed she was limited to running less than an hour, the way she runs now, but there was a time...and really, it wasn't even that long ago.

When you are back on track, I know you will savor every mile!

Kyly said...

Hey gal. You and I are in similiar situations. No running for me either. MRI,xray - clear. Blood tests for arthritis - clear. I've been biking quite a bit. Care to join me? Kyly

Addy said...

Patience is a great mantra to have :) I'm still in the same boat as you. Its great that you've sort of figured out what your limits are for right now and are sticking with them. It's what your body needs to hopefully get back into full shape :D

olga said...

Holy cow, lady, you and Kyly bad tests, yet no running. I am in owe at these injuries, really, if doctors can't figure them out and "there is something with soft tissues"...thank God you have mo patience than I do (or Kyly for that matter:))
Hug to you.

Catherine said...


I appreciate your patience and frame of mind. I know it's not easy. I'm also in the boat of inconclusive tests, although my MRI showed inflammation in the bone marrow. CT scan and bone scan next. Still no running but lots of biking.

Please keep posting, we all really enjoy hearing about your thoughts and also Marc's racing.

Ryan said...

It's never easy to be patient especially when it has to do with an injury, time will heal; I'll be watching for the big comeback.

angie's pink fuzzy said...

wow. i will keep my fingers crossed for you that you get to run a mile this year!

Darrell said...

Wow. You are certainly handling this well. Hang in there and do what you need to do.